I have had a lot of good days, but I have also had a lot of bad, I think they balance each other out. With that being said, I don’t think I have actually lived my best day. I could be clichéd and say the day my best friend Anne came into my life, and while that is a GREAT day, I don’t know that it is something that I can write about without revealing too much about my life. So while that is one of the greatest, it is a personal greatest and I can’t really share it.
It is sometimes hard to see the good through the bad. I haven’t been writing much because I have been in this really weird place emotionally. I feel like I can’t get words from my brain to my pen to paper. I am even having a hard time typing up what was previously handwritten. I feel like something in me just won’t click and it goes wayyyyy beyond writer’s block.
These past few years have been hard for me, and at times I stopped writing. For example: September 2011 something happened that changed my life at the time I thought it was for the worse and now I even think that at times, but in the long run it will probably be one of the better days or even for the best. I stopped writing for about six months in my main book. I picked up the pen in November (2011) to write the vampire book and wrote two chapters, but I didn’t do much more until March. I don’t like this, I don’t like what I am writing, I feel like I am being fake, because I am holding so much back and talking around the point. But I also don’t want to shout “THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG” online.
As most know we lost Ned Vizzini, back in December (2013). His death really shook me, as a writer, a reader, and (and I use the term loosely) a friend. I was and still am his friend on Facebook. We interacted once when I told him that I loved his book and he thanked me. When he passed (I didn’t find out until days later) I had a hard time coping. I, writing this, am having a hard time even now. I bought his last book and I can’t even look at it without losing it and breaking down. I can’t imagine how hard it is for his ‘real’ friends and family. I sometimes feel like his death could have been prevented, like what if I reached out, what if I emailed him like I kept wanting to? He never posted much on FB so I didn’t know things were hard for him, but god I WISH I would have emailed before December. Every time I saw his book on my bookshelf I had this nagging feeling to message, but I never did, for whatever reason. And I am sad I didn’t. We weren’t close or really had any interaction, but I loved his books and it meant so much to me that he accepted my friend request.
I have been struggling with my rewrite and I started a few new books in hopes of jumpstarting that desire to continue Devon’s story, but something is hitching. I have been plotting on the daily and have at least three new book ideas that I love, LOVE! I have been spending time with my characters so it’s not like I went completely radio silent, everything has just been fuzzy. I am hoping to beat this soon.
Also, I want to apologize to the bloggers and Tina for not being consistent with posting and for not really informing anyone that I was going MIA. But I am back hopefully. I haven’t known what to post or blog about, so ideas would be helpful and greatly appreciated.
I’m back hopefully, I have been getting the desire to write. Writers, does this happen to you? Is this normal?
I think I know what my next blog post will be about, but please send me ideas.
Peace, Love, and Inspiration
Keep writing and remember
Listening to: Tear the World Down from Tear the World Down-We Are the Fallen
Quote: “I just give myself permission to suck. I delete about 90 percent of my first drafts … so it doesn’t really matter much if on a particular day I write beautiful and brilliant prose that will stick in the minds of my readers forever, because there’s a 90 percent chance I’m just gonna delete whatever I write anyway. I find this hugely liberating. I also like to remind myself of something my dad said in [response] to writers’ block: ‘Coal miners don’t get coal miners’ block.’” --John Green